Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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