New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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