there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
