he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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