i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize