Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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