He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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