You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
