Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
honey bunches of taint.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The adults are the big ones right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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