ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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