I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
