I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
