ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
