I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
