Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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