Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
