I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
