I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
