I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
