I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize