i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
