I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
