His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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