You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
