i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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