so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
