is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
