She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
