marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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