i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
