You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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