Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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