Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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