dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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