Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
