i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
