is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
