Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
