Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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