So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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