it was like his penis was on wheels.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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