so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
