shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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