You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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