Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
