I want to have your abortion
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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