is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize