Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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