Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize