do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
