I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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