I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
