Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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