Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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