Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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