someone get that fucking seahorse.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
