i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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