if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've blown a few things in my day
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
