I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
