i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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