If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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