It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My pussy is not your playground.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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