and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
