You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
