gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
