idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
please come you make the beer taste better
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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